A TON of stuff is going on lately. I feel like every moment I am awake I am working. At this point, I am striving to allow myself at least an hour to an hour and a half of relaxation every day. A lot of the time, I believe I fail.
I have been working at my current day job now for a year and a half. I'm a manager there and, while I do not work the entire time (I spend a large amount of time busing it to and from work), I am gone getting to work, working, and coming home around 10-11 hours daily. For a while, I would be so exhausted from my day, I would come home, eat, network/look for modeling gigs and that would be it for the night. While my body still wants me to do that, I have decided no matter how hard I have to push myself, I have goals I want to reach and passions I wish to pursue that I simply do not want to allow my day job to eliminate from my life. As a result, I wake up, feed the animals, water the plants, do the dishes, change/take care of my hygiene, eat, go to work, get off work, take the bus, get off at the nearest bus stop a mile away, jog home, stretch, work out, work on my digital painting, work on my drawing, look for modeling gigs, scoop the litter box, take out the trash, feed the animals again, do the laundry if it needs to be done, write, pack, and other stuff I can't conjure up in my mind at this time...
In addition, we are moving after a year of living here. I have been quite happy at this house. Having no roommates has been fantastic. I love all the fruit trees in our yard and all the space. The neighborhood is lovely. I am very, very sad about moving. My landlord had to sell the house because he couldn't make payments anymore. So here we are and I've been stressing like crazy. For a few weeks, I've barely slept. I just feel so anxious about moving and about money. I find that no matter how much I work and how little I spend money on myself (which is far too little. My shoes have holes in the bottoms of them and most of my clothes do too), that I'm always struggling financially.
Next month is the mark of Cody and I being together off and on for 12 years now (9 of which we've been together). I couldn't ever describe just how much I love Cody. We've been in love since junior high. We've had our best times in life side by side and our worst and have come out stronger in the end for it. I am so, so happy to live with him for nearly four years now and to share my world with him. I am so happy to have him and our wonderful pets, who are some of my best friends on Earth. I am so content feeling him on the bed beside me as I rest and an animal at my feet and another at my head, and another at my belly (there are three cats and a little dog). We have hard times like all couples, but we love each other so much that we work through our issues, no matter how large or small, and come out victorious. I am a very lucky lady and he is a very lucky man. He's given me some wonderful memories and I look forward so very much to making more in the years to come.
As far as modeling goes, I messaged a photographer who I absolutely adore and who is very well known and she actually messaged me and said she was interested in collaborating with me, so naturally I am stoked about that. I am very excited about going to Portland and Seattle next month. I am also to be featured on the cover and inside a magazine next month. Other exciting things are guess who I am working with in Seattle? and I haven't seen Porcelain Poet in years! I also just got back from Sacramento today and a photographer I have worked with 4 times, Number 5 Studio, gave me some beautiful wet plates of me to bring home. I am completely in love with them. That style of photography is just amazing and I find it very refreshing as there are few who practice it.
My art is going better than it has since I've gotten my day job. I am working on two pieces and have finished one but have yet to post it. You know the 7 Deadly Sins series I have been working on? Well, someone saw the first four and liked them enough to buy all of them and to commit to purchasing the last three when they are completed. I also sold every piece I had in my home aside from 2, I believe, which for me feels like a tremendous accomplishment. I am very critical of myself if I let myself think about things. That is the technique I have adopted to help my self esteem issues. I just tell that inner voice to shut up and then I work to improve and try my best to enjoy myself free from those thoughts. Some of my art is to also be featured in that magazine I talked about and that is what one of the pieces I am working on is for. I have definitely seen improvement in my work and while I am not where I want to be, I am swiftly moving in that direction and am determined to meet my goals.